Are we clear on what we are fighting for?

I had a Twitter storm on Sunday, October 23, 2022. Some people weren’t happy.

On Monday I apologized. I then chose to engage. I altered the apology 3 times to what people wanted. I intentionally gave them the “humility” they always demand from black women like me. They still weren’t happy! This got me thinking about what I always say to young women about ‘humility.’

Young women, never subscribe to humility politics. It’s an insatiable beast. It wants your degradation. Also, who’s the custodian of the definition of this particular brand of humility? The apology they request seldom is for what they claim you did. It’s an apology for your existence – for being beautiful, confident, and successful.

The humility they seek is the right to humiliate you because your existence humiliates them. How dare you strive and get the things they want but aren’t willing to take risks for? The freedom they seek, you have. You can never shine your beautiful light on the darkness they exist in.

But for me, this wasn’t new. In April 1986, I moved from a village school to a township school. I started on a Tuesday. On Friday we wrote our weekly tests. The lowest mark I got was 80%. I received a deluge of insults from both boys and girls. Excellence, for them, wasn’t to be celebrated. It was to be insulted.

As I read the Twitter comments, I asked myself: do other races despise excellence and think it’s a virtue only reserved for some races? Before the colonialists arrived and we started attributing excellence to them, did we not have intelligent and progressive people that we could emulate? If so, were we always angry at them like we are now?

We’re vocal about how other people’s lack of transformed views and conversations about us hinder our progress. But before we ask them to do so, have we transformed our views and conversations about ourselves?

I was sad as I pondered this and as always, it’s my Ramo who gave me an AHA! Moment. When she woke up, she asked me why my energy seemed off and I told her. She says: “I’m sorry you have to go through this. But please remember what I always say to you. You can’t push boundaries for us young women and expect help from those who are comfortable with us remaining stagnant. You see now, [in 2022] you want them to push forward but their default is to pull you back to 1986.”

Yes in 2022, educated millennials and Gen-Z – 28 years into democracy, were denouncing the success of a woman who’s been vocal about how she self-funded her career from the age of 17. They ascribed it to colonialism and apartheid. They were using insults she first heard from her community 36 years ago.

I paused and asked myself – are we clear on what we are fighting for? The pattern from the comments revealed that – Some fight for what was, and some fight for what is. My clear strategy has always been to fight for the miracle that is the harmony, the joy that I see every day. Young people who work together, without the burdens of divisions.